I know it's been ages since I've added any content here. I do have days when I think I'm going to add stuff, because things have been happening (not all good) and I know the longer I leave it the more I'll forget. At my last meeting with Sarah Swartout (CN4C Change Coach) she did tell me to keep up to date. She also got me to sign up for a Maths qualification at Cornwall College beginning in September.
Trouble is I've just been feeling very apathetic towards life, maybe a little (sometimes a lot) depressed about the monotony of my existence and the massive limitations that I have. I get through by reminding myself that I am lucky compared to a lot of people. At least I don't have to be worried about being bombed or shelled overnight, or have to fight for my life against invading armies on a daily basis. I remind myself of the billions of people who have lived and died before any of us and how little our lives mean in the great scheme of things. We have to live and love and survive the best we can, while we can.
So the White Room roof is coming loose in places so we got in touch with the person who put it up for us who agreed he would come round and have a look at it for us and he didn't turn up. We got in touch again and he gave us a time he would be there and once again he wasn't there on time, so we texted him and much to our surprise (ha,ha) he said he was waiting for the RAC as he had broken down. I found it a little annoying that when I checked his Facebook that he was sharing photos of himself outside the Crucible in Sheffield at the Snooker.
In the garden I decided that I had to get everything prepared to start growing my tomatoes. Original plan was to build a raised bed and build a sort of greenhouse structure, so in my wheelchair and just using my left hand (as my right was controlling my chair) I began to arrange some breeze blocks in a vague design as to what I required. To cut a long story short, I had a change of mind and decided to just grow stuff in freestanding tubs to save Dee from having to build my idea. Presently I have several tubs and a little tomato growing plastic unit and am growing Tomatoes, Peppers, Strawberries, Raspberries, Cucumbers and Chillies.
Also I've had a few episodes whilst out walking Loki. One really got me to realise my vulnerability. I was walking up towards the subway featured here several times when I heard a "Vroom, vroom" sound from a male youth walking behind me with a female of about the same age (mid teens I would think). As they neared he made small talk to me about my chair speed and they passed me and walked at my pace in front. I can't remember how but I passed them and they stopped for a few minutes. Loki was acting strange and wanted to go back the way we had came and we passed the couple who had started walking towards us again. A bit further towards home I stopped and looked behind me and the couple were there following at a distance. I crossed the next road and stopped on the corner where I was visible to traffic and the couple walked past me again. I walked a further 10 or so yards and looked back and the couple had back tracked again, and I believe they had been following me for some reason but gave up when they realised I was aware. It did unnerve me a bit because being wheelchair bound I knew I am at the mercy of anyone who decides to attack me for any reason.
And another time whilst walking Loki down the road where I live we passed a raised property and a dog poked its head over the wall and proceeded to violently bark and growl at Loki who obviously tried to retaliate and pulled away from me towards said dog. In between the two dogs was a car which Loki in his effort to get the dog jumped up with his paws making contact with it, whilst the owner started shouting at me from across the road before coming over and angrily saying his car had been scratched. I apologised profusely because I had no control over what had happened. I told the man that I would pay for any damage and started to walk away with Loki, and because I had been feeling a bit down anyway a few tears started to fall. Before I got very far I was called by a female voice from behind me (I believe it was the mans wife) who spoke very kindly to me saying that it was not my fault and not to worry about anything. I thanked her and continued my walk home. I must admit I did burst into tears when I got there.
Have also had a few episodes where my chair has got stuck and I've had to ask Dee to rescue me.
Dee had 3 nights away with her daughter Taliesin who is studying at Bristol University and I stayed at home and looked after Loki. Thankfully Dee had prepared all my clothing changes and my food and drink for me whilst she was away. She had a good time seeing Tals singing in a pub in Bristol and spending time with her so I'm happy for them both.
We've been waiting on the Council to install a through floor lift for me for nearly a year as getting upstairs is really getting near impossible for me and apparently it's taking so long as they didn't have a surveyor but somebody is visiting next week to have a look.
I'm sure I've missed loads but that's disability and getting old I'm afraid ;-)
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