I know it's been ages since I've added any content here. I do have days when I think I'm going to add stuff, because things have been happening (not all good) and I know the longer I leave it the more I'll forget. At my last meeting with Sarah Swartout (CN4C Change Coach) she did tell me to keep up to date. She also got me to sign up for a Maths qualification at Cornwall College beginning in September.

Ren has many songs and life experiences that I can fully relate to, as I'm sure many of you could if you listened to his music. But I'm not here to promote him, just using his lyrics. I've found that living with long term and incurable conditions that you either learn to live with them and accept life for what it is or you sink into some deep dark place (where I slip a little at times). Life isn't always what we want it to be, but whilst I still have a happy life, albeit not a very easy one, I will make the best of my situation. Saying that, I have had to realize how disabled I have become when I lost the use of my powered chair for just a short time over the last week. But there have been positives as well as negatives and I am thankful for just being alive.

Absolutely exhausted again. I really shouldn't push myself on days when I have a bit of energy because I know I'll pay for it afterwards, but it's a choice I make because I know the consequences and I need that feeling of having achieved something sometimes whatever the price. It is very unsatisfying (I won't say depressing because I don't want sympathy, just understanding) sitting on my arse for the 16 hours of every day (usually more) that I am out of bed. And presently I am struggling even more to make it upstairs at the end of my day and downstairs in the mornings. But these are just daily challenges that make up my life. Dee has told me that I'm just spending today resting and I can't argue with that because that's all I can do, however boring it is.

Up nice and early as Dee had to be in the shop and I'm still helping her to get dressed and she's helping me. Both of us are struggling today, Dee can hardly move her arms and when she does she lets out a cry of pain. Steroid injection for her on Wednesday which will hopefully help a bit and an MRI at the end of the month.

"Time Flies, Time Crawls, like an insect, up and down the wall ", some lyrics from 'The Light Pours out of me by Magazine'. 

Had another short break from blogging, just couldn't convince my body and head to sit down and concentrate on it, even though a few things have happened (some of which I've probably forgotten lol.

Normal start to the day with bed stretching, mountain descending (stairs) and collapsing into wheelchair. Loki has been a little off habit recently as we had a visit from Taliesin (one of Dees daughters) over Mothers day weekend and he has been missing her, and he's not been eating regularly so I was quite happy that he wanted breakfast rather than go back upstairs to wait for Dee. So I fed him and then let him out and he went to one of his four designated beds (not including the living room sofa) as can be seen in the photos above. I then topped up the sparrows fat ball feeder at the garden end of the White Room.

So I woke up this morning and thought I'd get a few photos up of part of my occasional arms routine.

Six days since my last entry, mainly because I don't really do much every day and I can't really write about stuff if I haven't done much. And I'm beginning to think it all rather pointless if nobody reads the monotony of my days. Most days just consist of getting up, eating, watching YouTube or News channels, posting on Facebook, more eating, watching more TV and then going to bed. Sometimes I do a bit of PS4ing, going to Aldi or Boots and taking Loki out (weather permitting because I spend days sweeping up the mud that sticks to my chair wheels afterwards). If I didn't have Dee and Loki to talk to and cuddle, and the knowledge I have two wonderful children, and mine and Dee's extended families I think it would be a bit harder to find reasons to get out of bed. Oh and of course my friends on Facebook.

Dee is still very poorly with pain stemming from her spine we think and it seems to be deteriorating rather than improving so our lives are mainly confined to home at present. The waits to get appointments isn't helping her very much so we help each other as much as possible.

I'm back after being too tired for a couple of days where I've managed my morning stretches and a bit of Warface on PS4, lots of thinking, going to bed earlier than normal but waking up too early and laying thinking/planning things I'd like to be able to do with this blog and adding things to my website. Also still sweeping up mud particles from dog walks day's ago.

So today I had an 11:00 a.m. appointment at St Michaels Hospital in Hayle. I was up in plenty of time, awake at 08:30, no morning stretch today but a comprehensive, state of the art, sat on the side of the bed, baby wipe bath. So refreshing and satisfying (NOT)  but better than feeling unclean.